


if you close your eyes

by erialeduab



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Drabble, Multi, Night Terrors, The idea just came to me, i don't know what happened, it's pretty terrible i know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-16 11:31:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4623750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erialeduab/pseuds/erialeduab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>does it almost feel like<br/>nothing changed at all?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what happened. it's like a concept of a concept but i just wrote it and... i don't know. 
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think!

The afternoon light is streaming in through the window of Allison’s apartment into her bedroom. Scott, Isaac and Allison are sprawled on her bed. Scott’s eyes are closed, with Alison’s hands in his hair and Isaac’s mouth is on his neck. Scott is breathless. No, wait. Scott actually can’t breathe. Something dark is covering the sunlight thats warming him. He should be feeling great but something is choking him, sucking the breath right out of him.

  
His eyes fly open in a panic and suddenly he’s awake. It's pitch black and he’s in his own bed, with Kira one one side and Theo on the other. Allison and Isaac are gone, they were never there, they were just a dream. It takes him a second to remember it all - Allison and Isaacs’ twin graves, side by side at the cemetery where Isaac used to work. Kira wakes up as he sits up, and worriedly runs a hand down his arm.

  
“Scott? Are you okay?"

  
Scott still can’t breathe, dripping in sweat, and Kira’s touch isn’t comforting at all because all he can think about is Allison’s soft brown hair, not Kira’s grip on his arm.

  
"Scott what’s happening? Is it an asthma attack?”

  
Now Theo is awake too and that’s the last thing Scott wants. All Scott really wants is Isaac and Allison to be here, and he feels selfish for thinking that, Theo grabs the inhaler from the bedside table and puts it in Scott’s hand, guiding it towards his mouth.

  
“Scott use your inhaler” “Come on Scott breathe"

  
So Scott breathes. Because he owes it to them. It takes him a good twenty minutes for him to recover, to get back to normal, and Kira and Theo are there, calming him and whispering soft words of comfort. Eventually Kira asks,

"Was it another night terror?”

Scott can’t tell them. That it wasn’t a terror at all. All Kira and Theo want is for him to feel better, and all Scott can think about is them. But he can’t lie, either.

  
“I… It was Isaac. And Allison.” Scott can’t meet either of their eyes, but he knows they’ll think it’s about their deaths. So he keeps going “It wasn’t anything… bad.”

  
“Look at me” Theo is talking now, crawling across the bed to sit facing Scott. “Scott. Look at me." Scott slowly looks up.

  
"It’s okay” Theo gently cups Scott’s face with his hands, like he’s scared Scott’s going to run away, or disappear. “You can miss them. It’s okay. If someone took you and Kira away from me, I…” Theo looks down, and drops his hands. Kira interlocks her fingers with his and gives him a soft kiss.

  
“Theo’s right. There’s nothing to feel guilty about. We love you but that doesn’t mean you can’t still love Isaac and Allison. You know that right?"

  
And every rational part of Scott knows that, knows that Kira and Theo love him so much, and he just feels like he doesn’t deserve it. Half of his pack is dead, and the ones who aren't still see so much good in him. He nods, and let’s Kira wrap her arms around him. Eventually Theo and Kira fall asleep again, but Scott stays awake. He can’t stop thinking that Isaac and Allison should be here. That Theo and Kira aren’t his first choice even though he is their’s. That he still can’t accept Isaac and Allison's deaths, even though it’s been four years and well past the period of acceptable mourning. He knew them for so little time, their lives had barely begun.

And now that they're gone all he can think about is how it should be Allison who soothes him with. That it should be Isaac's arm wrapped around his waist, his steady breath on Scott's neck. When they have pack meetings at Derek's old loft Allison should be pacing the room, frustrated by how little they know. She should be the one training Lydia, not Theo or Jordan or Malia. Isaac should be the one curled in Scott's lap at night pressing soft kisses to his cheeks and jaw and neck. The one Malia wakes up at night to go running with her, the one she trusts on a basic level. Lydia shouldn't have to deal with her parents alone, she doesn't deserve to have so many people ripped from her life.

 

None of them do. 


	2. Chapter 2

Scott startles awake, sweat dripping drown his face. He can hear his heart pounding and the neon glare of his alarm clock tells him it's much too loud for 4:30 in the morning. Instinctively he looks for Kira and Theo, he can hear Kira's soft, steady heartbeat to his left, but the other side of the bed is completely empty. Theo's heartbeat is missing, Scott can't hear any movement, can't smell Theo's scent with the intensity he usually can. All this he processes within seconds of opening his eyes, but it takes him several more to remember why Theo isn't there. 

Theo, who Scott had had a crush on all throughout primary school. Who had been the closest thing Scott and Stiles had to a friend. Who let Scott hope, back when they were ten, that maybe he could find love. Theo, who had stayed in Scott's dreams, years later, fuelled by blurry lacrosse photos posted on facebook. Photos too grainy to show his transformation to human to... whatever he was now. Who had come back just when they needed him the most.  _Theodore_ , truly, a gift from the gods. 

Theo, who after just a week of being accepted into the pack had felt like he belonged, like he'd always been here. Who'd drive Kira home after practice because she didn't want to go with her dad. Who'd help Scott study for AP Chemistry at lunchtimes. Who had taken them both out to the diner, and all but proposed amidst the checkered vinyl flooring and the cracking leather seats. Who'd waited until they were at Scott's porch before hesitantly cupping Kira's cheek and gave her such a gentle kiss that she had pulled him back in for another. Who had turned to Scott, with bright, hopeful eyes, until Scott had just stepped forward and kissed him.

Scott's fingers curl into fists, claws threatening to cut into flesh, as he remembers. How could he compare Theo to Isaac or Allison or Kira? How could he let him into his life, his pack, his  _bed_  so easily? He thought the past few years had hardened him, that Scott the Optimist no longer existed, had been replaced by some darker, more cynical version of himself. But these changes were temporary, ephemeral. He got glimpses of that version of himself but Scott is beginning to believe, more and more, that people are incapable of change. 

How long after Isaac and Allisons' deaths had he started dating Kira? How quickly did he add Theo to the pack, and delegate responsibility to him? Stiles was right. Stiles is always right, and Scott was so willing to delude himself with his one big happy pack family daydreams that he'd ignored him and now this had happened.

* * *

 

Kira stirs when Scott wakes up, but stays quiet. She knows they aren't in any danger, but she wants to know where Scott's head is at before she tries to intervene. She knows it's about Theo, and she knows why. 

Theo never pushed, never seemed to get in the way of anything. The first night Kira and Scott invited him up he'd just looked so happy. He had talked about his sister, about how his parents had never been the same after her death. How he missed being normal and when he was bitten it was almost a relief because there was no normal now. Everything Theo told them took on an ugly, twisted light now. He had killed his sister, tortured his parents, practically gone looking for the Doctors.

Kira and Scott had shared too. Kira had told Theo about how her father's parents had died before she was even born, and how lucky she was that that was her tragedy.

Kira didn't mention that night that she seemed to attract the ones who had lost the most. She didn't mention that she never knew what it looked like to lose someone until she watched Scott lose Allison and Isaac. When she talked to Derek about Laura and Cora and everyone else he lost as a result of the fire. When Malia would chase her down in the woods, only to be frightened by a flashing car light when they crossed a road, and ended up curled in a ball by the side of the road. Kira thought maybe this was how she could help, sharing the burden of all this loss, trying to be there when Scott had a night terror, or Derek went radio silent. Kira didn't say a lot of things, but that didn't mean she wouldn't have, eventually. If what they'd had was real, and maybe it was just her and Theo one day, sleeping in her bed or out for a cup of coffee.

Kira feels more guilt than she knows what to do with, because she played a part in bringing Theo into their lives. She watches Scott rip himself up about it, _literally_ , and she doesn't know how to stop him. Two years ago, maybe, she could have told him that it would get better. Eighteen months ago she could have promised him that they would take Theo down.

But today? 

There's nothing. Kira watches Scott sleep and feels the dread building up in her thick and black. It's all she can do to keep it from spilling. 

**Author's Note:**

> title from Pompeii by Bastille 
> 
> Thanks to ElasticElla for the idea of the Kira/Scott/Theo pairing! This fic literally wouldn't exist without it.
> 
> come say hi on [tumblr](http://dwightyoumonkeyslut.tumblr.com)


End file.
